I don’t know why but lately I have been having these dreams where I am repeatedly shot and bashed in the head. Yet, no matter how many times I am shot, I just won’t fucking die. You would think that my brain would register that it is a dream when my brains are hanging out and yet somehow I am still alive, but no. It is fucking horrible. You would think I would wake up, but no.
Just fucking horrible.
I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I have completely given up on the idea of friendship or if I am just afraid of the whole idea. My friendship history hasn’t exactly shown the best outcomes. I don’t know if I am not trying because I simply don’t want to or because I’m afraid to face the outcome of my efforts. It’s sad really. In the midst of my confusion I feel like I’m letting the two only people I even consider to be my “best friends” anymore (if they were to really exist) slip away. I want to prevent it but at the same time, perhaps this is for the better. I am not exactly the greatest friend anyhow. How selfish of me, right? But, based on my past experiences, that holds true.
I think I’m just tired of disappointment, even though disappointment lies around every corner. Tired of disappointment from others and in myself. I’ve become a coward.
venting without the help of humans. stupid humans.
The most beautiful, strongest human being I know. No matter how hard or how many times you may fall, we’re here to catch you—whether you like it or not, whether or not you want or need us to Vy. We will always be behind you—there to support you when you are ready to trust us. We aren’t going anywhere. ♥❤♥
The fucking nerve some people have.
To think that you would get away with it. Not this time, and sure as hell not with her. How fucking dare you think that you can pull that shit?! Who do you think you are?! I don’t think you realize just how many people would have died to have been in your place and you went and fucked it up. GOOD GOING DUMBASS. She fucking deserves better.
Better than your low-life ass. Better than your constant lies. Better than your piece of shit game. I hope you know that you haven’t won shit. No, this was your fucking loss. There will come a day where you’ll look back and realize that you fucked up and I hope you regret it every day because you just lost the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to your low-life, piece of shit, dumb ass.
I’m glad you’re out of the picture because you were never good enough for her. You could never amount to everything that she deserves. No, you’re just another black and white empty body who lives in this world thinking that he can just play with peoples’ hearts all fucking day long. I hope this mistake comes around and bites you in the fucking ass and sticks you in your fucking place. No one, and I mean NO ONE deserves the shit you put her through.
Ryan, little do you know, she’s stronger than you think and she has so many people who will catch her no matter how many times she may fall.
Didn’t you realize that no matter how many times you pushed her down, she got back up.
This time will be no different.
